You Write Good Like Caveman

I am punny by nature. So, when a client was struggling to simplify their website copywriting, I wasn’t sure how to tell them the one simple truth about their problem: the way they wrote was too complicated.

In other words:

We work diligently to process the needs of our high-level administration clients into viable market place solutions… 

Instead of:

We’re executive level consultants. 

Now, here’s the dirty truth: you can put as many adjectives into your writing as you want, but what you do is what you do. And you can’t polish a turd (sorry, just loving that phrase lately.)

Writing Like a Caveman

Website Copywriting Blunders

In another incidence, my work has sometimes been edited to include additional, unnecessary words:

Our “state-of-the-art” campus facilities…

The “highly-esteemed” EMT program…

I’m not sure what was meant by state of the art – maybe the rooms adjusted for temperature control like Bill Gates mansion? – but it certainly wasn’t pertinent to using text to get the user onto the next page of the website.

It is better in this case, when writing website copy for a navigational page, to simply say:

Our campuses are located in five easy-to-access areas of the city:

    • Maple Lane <link to campus>
    • Chestnut Lane <link to campus>
    • Cherry Lane <link to campus>

Likewise, how highly esteemed can a program be? It can be award winning. It can be voted best in the country and/or  offer the highest rate of employed graduates, but fancy talk doesn’t really serve a purpose here.

With employment rates as high as 98% upon certificate completion, EMTs that graduate from…

Instead, I’d like to suggest that you write good like cave man.

Try to think of the best way for your website copywriting to appeal to the lowest common denominator using clear, concise phrases that get your point across but say no more, or less, than is absolutely necessary.

Think of a neanderthal with limited speech abilities to maximize this exercise. He grunts. He points. He uses minimal communication to get his point across.

Website Copywriting and Caveman Talk

If you feel that an area of your business needs more explaining than caveman talk you can:

Write longer, additional services pages.
The more pages on your website, the better your chances of SEO ranking. This provides more content for spiders to crawl on your website as well as giving you a better click through rate.

Plus, it increases the amount of time (bounce rate) viewers stay on your website. So, go ahead, chat all day about “highly esteemed” programs on extra pages.

Oh, yeah, but ask yourself if you think anyone is searching on “highly esteemed”… or if they are more likely to look by county (Chester County EMT programs), state (Utah EMT programs), or another SEO-friendly designation (highest ranking EMT program in the state of…).

Expound on the idea with blogs.
If you don’t want to have a lot of extra website pages, make your blog work for you. Blogging isn’t a waste of time as long as you use it to promote your business.

Let’s say you wanted to discuss job prospects for EMTs. The blogs you write would include:

  • How to choose an EMT certification program
  • Job Prospects for an EMT
  • Guide to Attending EMT School

In each blog, you can talk at length about the program and direct users back to the services page and/or to sign up for a phone call with a sales person. Bonus points if you wrap in the above SEO keywords, too.

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